This is not a fairy-tale. This is about real witches.
Real witches don't ride around on broomsticks. They don't even wear black cloaks and hats. They are vile, cunning, detestable creatures who disguise themselves as nice, ordinary ladies. So how can you tell when you're face to face with one? Well, if you don't know yet you'd better find out quickly-because there's nothing a witc This is not a fairy-tale. This is about real witches.
Real witches don't ride around on broomsticks. They don't even wear black cloaks and hats.
They are vile, cunning, detestable creatures who disguise themselves as nice, ordinary ladies. So how can you tell when you're face to face with one? Well, if you don't know yet you'd better find out quickly-because there's nothing a witch loathes quite as much as children and she'll wield all kinds of terrifying powers to get rid of them. Warning: Extremely Long Review and Childhood StorytellingWhen I was ten or eleven, I was sitting in the playground at summer camp, minding my own business and reading this book, when one of the playground supervisers came and asked me what I was reading. When I showed it to him, his eyes got wide and he took the book from me. Then he went to the trash can and started ripping it up, page by page.
And he washed his hands afterwards, 'to get rid of the filth.' It was a library book. He was j Warning: Extremely Long Review and Childhood StorytellingWhen I was ten or eleven, I was sitting in the playground at summer camp, minding my own business and reading this book, when one of the playground supervisers came and asked me what I was reading.
When I showed it to him, his eyes got wide and he took the book from me. Then he went to the trash can and started ripping it up, page by page. And he washed his hands afterwards, 'to get rid of the filth.' It was a library book. He was just going on and on about how young children shouldn't read about witchcraft because they might want to become witches, etc.
If you've read the book, you know that Dahl doesn't exactly idealize witches. Well, when my dad came to pick me up, he let this guy have it (yay Dad!) and I got a popsicle. So the story ends well, but I always remember this incident when I see this book. And because of that, this book is what I think of when I consider censorship and how detrimental it is to our society. I barely remember what happens in The Witches, but I love it simply because of what it represents to me. 'A REAL WITCH hates children with a red-hot sizzling hatred that is more sizzling and red-hot than any hatred you could possibly imagine.'
So starts a splendiferous tale about a young boy telling his personal story about the absolute horrors of being turned into a mouse after having some run-in with the real witches! Although these witches weren't quite the cannibalistic ones found in 'Hansel and Gretel', they, nonetheless, attract children with a smorgasbord of treats, confectioneries, and dainty sweet 'A REAL WITCH hates children with a red-hot sizzling hatred that is more sizzling and red-hot than any hatred you could possibly imagine.'
So starts a splendiferous tale about a young boy telling his personal story about the absolute horrors of being turned into a mouse after having some run-in with the real witches! Although these witches weren't quite the cannibalistic ones found in 'Hansel and Gretel', they, nonetheless, attract children with a smorgasbord of treats, confectioneries, and dainty sweets!
One way or the other, the kids disappear without a trace — some being incorporated into an oil-painting, others turned into stones, and some into fowls. Talk about abduction! The commonality that witches share was their unutterable loathing towards innocent children which was deeply unparalleled as most often, witches prefer to squish, squash, mash, bash, and fry their victims to oblivion and would always be busy 'plotting and scheming and churning and burning and whizzing and phizzing with murderous bloodthirsty thoughts'. Quite distressing, I must say! I wouldn't do that to kids. However, I'd prefer to use that kind of coldness towards some repulsive grown-ups that I've met in life.
Definitely, the inner warlock within me would love to break them, slash them, or even give them the white-hot sparks: 'A stupid vitch who answers backMust burn until her bones are black!A foolish vitch vithout a brainMust sizzle in the fiery flame!An idiotic vitch like youMust rrroast upon the barbecue!A vitch who dares to say I'm wrrrongVill not be vith us very long!' Dandy and dotty, isn't it? I must admit that real witches do exist in real life like those in the form of a wolf in sheep's clothing — wearing some mask to conceal their true identity or even purpose, for that matter. Others you might not need to call out as you'd be frizzled to a fritter when you 'out' them in such a reckless manner! It is imperative that one knows how to recognise the devilry of 'witches' here and one should be well-equipped! As Grandmamma puts it, 'You won't last long in this world if you don't know how to spot a witch when you see one.'
Dahl has stupendously delivered another dark yet whimsical story! Quite a tale really and it's okay to be a mouse (although frightening) in a world full of cats, witches, or humans as long as the mouse is cunning enough to circumnavigate the world and be one of the Davids against all the other Goliaths that one has to face throughout our lifetime.
It is also often imperative to let others know just by giving them a taste of their own medicine! Pardon me as I need to acquire a blabbersnitch's beak, catspringer's tongue, crabcruncher's claw and some other materials to go into my cauldron. And where's my wig, hat, nose, and shoes? I'll be needing those to alter my appearance! I might have bloody mixed them all in! 'It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you.'
Rating (narrated by Miranda Richardson):Narrative voice & style - ★★★★★Vocal characterisation - ★★★★★Inflexion & intonation - ★★★★★Voice quality - ★★★★★Audiobook verdict - ★★★★★ (Exquisite performance, superbly brilliant, a must-have!). The Witches, Roald DahlThe Witches is a children's fantasy novel by the British writer Roald Dahl. It was originally published in 1983.
The story is set partly in Norway and partly in the United Kingdom, and features the experiences of a young British boy and his Norwegian grandmother in a world where child-hating societies of witches secretly exist in every country. The witches are all ruled by the extremely vicious and powerful Grand High Witch, who in the story has just arrived in England to The Witches, Roald DahlThe Witches is a children's fantasy novel by the British writer Roald Dahl. It was originally published in 1983.
The story is set partly in Norway and partly in the United Kingdom, and features the experiences of a young British boy and his Norwegian grandmother in a world where child-hating societies of witches secretly exist in every country. The witches are all ruled by the extremely vicious and powerful Grand High Witch, who in the story has just arrived in England to organise her worst plot ever. Is in my top 3 of favorite children's authors. I had read a few of his books as a child, but most of my exposure occurred as a young adult and while in college.The Witches was actually a book I read after the movie with Anjelica Huston was produced. I am a huge fan of her work, and when she appeared in this movie, I was fascinated with the story.
I'd definitely recommend reading the book first as the movie takes the story so much further.For one thing, the book has an unnamed narrator and grandmother, whereas is in my top 3 of favorite children's authors. I had read a few of his books as a child, but most of my exposure occurred as a young adult and while in college.The Witches was actually a book I read after the movie with Anjelica Huston was produced. I am a huge fan of her work, and when she appeared in this movie, I was fascinated with the story. I'd definitely recommend reading the book first as the movie takes the story so much further.For one thing, the book has an unnamed narrator and grandmother, whereas the movie is very detailed on the history of the characters, the various types of relationships, etc.
But both were still very good.It combines so many wonderful things for kids to love - and to be scared of. Witches who can turn little boys into. Well, I won't ruin the surprise.
Suffice it to say, this can be a bit of a scary theme.Dahl's style is so embracing and captivating. His characters are intense. The creativity and imagination from the works he's produced over the years is quite astonishing.The Grand High Witch runs the show here, and she won't let you forget it. But it's the grandmother and the boy who may hold all the power. A classic battle of good and evil with some fun thrown in between.A definite read for kids. When I was taking a course in college on 'Reading in the Elementary School,' I had to read 150 children's books and produce a portfolio showing a lesson plan for each book. Dahl featured in many of the lessons and books I had chosen, as I tried to incorporate some Newbery and Caldecott winners, but not all.
List Of Roald Dahl Books
What a joy to re-read these classics as a 21 year old thinking about becoming a teacher. Though I didn't stay in the teaching field (and possibly regret it to some degree), I will always go back to these books and this time period as one of the favorite parts of life.About MeFor those new to me or my reviews.
Here's the scoop: I read A LOT. I write A LOT. And now I blog A LOT.
First the book review goes on Goodreads, and then I send it on over to my WordPress blog at, where you'll also find TV & Film reviews, the revealing and introspective 365 Daily Challenge and lots of blogging about places I've visited all over the world. And you can find all my social media profiles to get the details on the who/what/when/where and my pictures. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Vote in the poll and ratings. Thanks for stopping by.polldaddy poll=9729544polldaddy poll=9719251. I am not, of course, telling you for one second that your teacher actually is a witch. All I am saying is that she might be one.
It is most unlikely. But-here comes the big 'but'-not impossible. After the tragic loss of his parents, a young boy goes to live with his much beloved grandmother. He soon learns of the impossible - witches exist.
And they're sole joy in life is to find ways to make children disappear. Preferably in nasty and mysterious ways.We soon discovers how to recognize a witch - thto I am not, of course, telling you for one second that your teacher actually is a witch.
All I am saying is that she might be one. It is most unlikely. But-here comes the big 'but'-not impossible. After the tragic loss of his parents, a young boy goes to live with his much beloved grandmother. He soon learns of the impossible - witches exist. And they're sole joy in life is to find ways to make children disappear. Preferably in nasty and mysterious ways.We soon discovers how to recognize a witch - they have clawed hands which they hide under gloves, they disguise their toe-less feet in pointy shoes and their spit has a faint blueish sheen.
They excel at hiding in plain sight. REAL WITCHES dress in ordinary clothes and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses and they work in ORDINARY JOBS. His fiercely protective grandmother does her absolute best to protect her grandson - arming him with enough knowledge to recognize and evade capture of one terrifyingly normal-looking neighborhood witch. During one summer vacation, things becomes significantly more.hairy.than expected.An absolute delight to read. Dahl truly outdoes himself - combining the right amount of sweet and scary.
The grandmother-grandson relation was absolutely splendid. Highly, highly recommended. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you.Audiobook CommentsLike the other Dahl books - this is a full-production presentation of the novel. Plenty of side-effects and the characterizations were wonderful though the Grand Witch was a bit difficult to understand. I felt like such an oldie by having to rewind it to hear what she said.The Finer Books Club- 2018 Reading Challenge - A banned book Snapchat @miranda.readsHappy Reading!
'Down vith children! Do them in!Boil their bones and fry their skin!Bish them, sqvish them, bash them, mash them!Brrreak them, shake them, slash them, smash them!Offer chocs vith magic powder!' Oh, thank goodness for the likes of Roald Dahl, who can combine the scary with the funny stuff and open a treasure chest of children's fairy-tales with all the wisdom humanity is capable of (which, of course, still is quite limited).As a child, I was terrified and fascinated at the same time when I read this story, hiding it under a pile of other books 'Down vith children! Do them in!Boil their bones and fry their skin!Bish them, sqvish them, bash them, mash them!Brrreak them, shake them, slash them, smash them!Offer chocs vith magic powder!'
Oh, thank goodness for the likes of Roald Dahl, who can combine the scary with the funny stuff and open a treasure chest of children's fairy-tales with all the wisdom humanity is capable of (which, of course, still is quite limited).As a child, I was terrified and fascinated at the same time when I read this story, hiding it under a pile of other books before turning off the light at night. I just couldn't stomach the idea of finding myself face to face with the witch and her friends in the vulnerable state between sleeping and being awake.Later, when I read it to my own three children, my youngest cuddled up in my lap and bit her nails while her brothers tried to downplay their excitement. From that experience, I mostly remember the giggles when we tried to imitate the witches' funny accent.And then I read it to school children. I will never forget those children sitting cosily in front of me on a carpet in the library, surrounded by books and drawings. I slowed down, and made my voice quiet, and read - very carefully - the witch warning:'She might even be your lovely school-teacher who is reading these words to you at this very moment. Look carefully at that teacher. Perhaps she is smiling at the absurdity of such a suggestion.
Don't let that put you off. It could be part of cleverness.I am not, of course, telling you for one second that your teacher actually is a witch. All I am saying is that she might be one.
It is most unlikely. But-here comes the big 'but'-not impossible.' I looked up and saw all those students' eyes staring at me. They remembered me dressing up as a witch at Halloween, and I believe for a moment they pondered the possibility of me being clever enough to cover up my actual 'witchedness' by pretending to be one.Recently, my son and I talked about this novel again, as his brother started reading it for the third or fourth time. And all of a sudden, we discovered another layer beyond the message of 'stranger danger' and the power of love and friendship to overcome difficulties.Those witches at the private meeting in the hotel are like celebrities and politicians believing they are alone and stripping themselves of the inconvenient political and ethical correctness which they officially claim to believe in while plotting against the future of the next generation for their own benefit.Underneath the polished surface, we discover real life witches in all shapes and forms each time we check the news.
And that is what Roald Dahl's sense of humour is based on. His characters may be unlikely, but they are not entirely impossible! There is a hint of truth in the bizarre story of witches who want to exterminate the 'stink' of children.' Everyone loves children, and nobody wants to hurt them' - that is a more absurd statement than the witches' mission if we just take into account human ACTIONS (as opposed to official STATEMENTS) during the past thousand years or so.So, beware of witches! And you never know if I am not one myself, hiding behind the warning like Iago talking about jealousy, that green-eyed monster, that he stirred up himself? My introduction to the fiction of Roald Dahl is The Witches and this is one of those books whose language and imagination are so exotic that I wanted to scribble down every paragraph, until the story pulled me in and I surrendered to its spell. Published in 1983 with illustrations by Quentin Blake, I was presented a 30th anniversary edition for Christmas-by a dear friend on Goodreads-which includes Blake's etchings.
Without the mischievous charcoal drawings to accompany it, Dahl's text alone would be My introduction to the fiction of Roald Dahl is The Witches and this is one of those books whose language and imagination are so exotic that I wanted to scribble down every paragraph, until the story pulled me in and I surrendered to its spell. Published in 1983 with illustrations by Quentin Blake, I was presented a 30th anniversary edition for Christmas-by a dear friend on Goodreads-which includes Blake's etchings. Without the mischievous charcoal drawings to accompany it, Dahl's text alone would be one of the scariest books I've read, electrified with truths only children know about the treachery of adults and the irrational evils of the world.The story is spun by a seven-year-old British boy whose expertise with REAL WITCHES begins when he travels with his parents to visit his material grandmother in Norway for Christmas. Orphaned in a car accident north of Oslo, the boy is adopted by his grandmother, a big, loving, cigar smoking lady who takes her grandson's mind off tragedy with her stories. Eventually, Grandmamma arrives on the subject of witches. As huge snowflakes fall outside, she cautions the boy that witches are still around and children must be wary of them, as witches despise children, sniffing them out as if they reeked of dog droppings and doing despicable things to them like transforming them into animals.Content to sit at the feet of his grandmother with the missing thumb and listen to her yarns, the boy is instructed by a family attorney that he is to return to England for his education. Grandmamma goes with him, warning her grandson that they must remain vigilant, as there is a Secret Society of Witches in every country.
English witches are on a first-name basis, swapping deadly recipes and plotting to kill children under the direction of The Grand High Witch of All The World, who presides over their secret meetings. By Easter, life has almost returned to normal.
The boy busies himself constructing a tree house in a big conker tree in their garden. Alone.I worked away, nailing the first plank on the roof. Then suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a woman standing immediately below me.
She was looking up and me and smiling in the most peculiar way. When most people smile, their lips go out sideways. This woman's lips went upwards and downwards, showing all her front teeth and gums. The gums were like raw meat.It is always a shock to discover you are being watched when you think you are alone.And what was this strange woman doing in our garden anyway?I noticed that she was wearing a small black hat and she had black gloves on her hands and the gloves came up to her elbows.Gloves! She was wearing gloves!I froze all over.' I have a present for you,' she said, still staring at me, still smiling, still showing her teeth and gums.I didn't answer.'
Come down out of that tree, little boy,' she said, 'and I shall give you the most exciting present you've ever had.' Her voice had a curious rasping quality. It made a sort of metallic sound, as though her throat was full of thumbtacks.The boy survives his encounter in the garden and averts tragedy when his grandmother falls ill with the flu. Unable to take him to the magical places in Norway she's reveled about when summer arrives, she books passage to the seaside town of Bournemouth, where they check in to the Hotel Magnificent. For company, his grandmother gives the boy two white mice, which he names William and Mary.
Searching for somewhere he can train his mice far from the prying eyes of hotel management, the boy sneaks into an empty ballroom, reserved for the annual meeting of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.Hiding behind a screen, the boy and his White Mouse Circus are unseen as the hotel manager escorts a great flock of ladies into the ballroom. Once they think they're alone, the ladies secure the door with a chain.
The boy notices that all of the women wear gloves, just as his grandmother warned him witches do, and scratch at the bald scalps under their wigs, just as witches do. A stylish young lady addresses the meeting, removing her gloves to reveal claws for fingers and taking off her mask to reveal a cankered and worm-eaten face. The Grand High Witch herself goes into a fury with the others for their failure to eradicate England of its children.Advising the witches to quit their day jobs and open candy stores, the Grand High Witch introduces a concoction she calls Formula 86 Delayed-Mouse Maker. This will transform English children to imbibe it into mice, once they're far away from the scene of the crime. The High Witch tests the stuff out on a gluttonous boy named Bruno Jenkins, lured to his fate by the promise of chocolate. As the meeting breaks up, the boy's scent-concealed by virtue of his not bathing for days-finally gives him away and set upon by witches, he is transformed into a mouse too. Finding he quite enjoys being a mouse, the boy reunites with his grandmother, who sees an opportunity.All the rooms in the Hotel Magnificent had small private balconies.
My grandmother carried me through into my own bedroom and out onto my balcony. We both peered down to the balcony immediately below'Now if that is her room,' I said, 'then I'll bet I could climb down there and somehow get in.' 'And get caught all over again,' my grandmother said.
'I won't allow it.' 'At this moment,' I said, 'all the witches are down on the Sunshine Terrace having tea with the Manager. The Grand High Witch probably won't be back until six o'clock, or just before. That's when she's going to dish out supplies of the foul formula to the ancient ones who are too old to climb trees after gruntles' eggs.' 'And what if you did manage to get into her room?' My grandmother said. 'Then I should try to find the place where she keeps her supply of Delayed-Action Mouse-Maker, and if I succeeded, then I would steal one bottle of it and bring it back here.'
'Could you carry it?' 'I think so,' I said. 'It's a very small bottle.'
'I'm frightened of that stuff,' my grandmother said. 'What would you do with it if you did manage to get it?' 'One bottle is enough for five hundred people,' I said.
'That would give each and every witch down there a double dose at least. We could turn them all into mice.' My grandmother jumped about an inch in the air. We were out on my balcony and there was a drop of about a million feet below us and I very nearly bounced out of her hand over the railings when she jumped.Roald Dahl is the truth.
I loved how fantasy is used here to strip away the deceit and corruption of the adult world, as opposed to using fantasy for escapism. In Dahl's world, there are no gifted children but normal ones, and magical instruments are in the hands of adults, who use them to victimize the meek. The book is terribly frightening, particularly the appearance of a witch under a boy’s treehouse, but Dahl softens his delivery with language that is witty and delightful, meant to beguile rather than unsettle the reader.All over the Dining Room women were screaming and strong men were turning white in the face and shouting, 'It's crazy!
This can't happen! Let's get the heck out of here quick!' Waiters were attacking the mice with chairs and wine bottles and anything else that came to hand.
I saw a chef in a tall white hat rushing out from the kitchen brandishing a frying pan, and another one just behind him wielding a carving knife above his head, and everyone was yelling, 'Mice! We must get rid of the mice!' Only the children in the room were really enjoying it. They all seemed to know instinctively that something good was going on right there in front of them and they were clapping and cheering and laughing like mad.In addition to his craft with language, Dahl is able to express his love for children even as particularly ghastly things happen to children in his stories. Bad stuff happen when you're a kid, but ingenuity and a good heart are the keys to a better world, while greed ultimately leads to a dead end.
A film version of The Witches produced by Jim Henson was released in 1990, the year both Dahl and Henson would pass away, at the ages of 74 and 53, respectively. While the ending of the film was changed to reassure audiences, Dahl's vision is magical, exciting and affirms that change, while terrifying, is a natural part of the world.
My daughters and I had just wrapped up the audiobook of The Witches with Miranda Richardson yesterday, having listened to it all week in the car, and we were still blissed out on those wonderful, awful witches. When this idiot playground dad got in my way.So, the story goes like this.
I'm an animated woman. I love stories, both listening to them and telling them, and I love a good joke, too. And I found myself, yesterday, engaged in conversation with a playground dad's moth My daughters and I had just wrapped up the audiobook of The Witches with Miranda Richardson yesterday, having listened to it all week in the car, and we were still blissed out on those wonderful, awful witches.
When this idiot playground dad got in my way.So, the story goes like this. I'm an animated woman. I love stories, both listening to them and telling them, and I love a good joke, too.
And I found myself, yesterday, engaged in conversation with a playground dad's mother, here visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday. We were having a good time, talking and laughing, but I could see that Sonny Boy was getting irritated, because this woman (me) was receiving attention from his Mommy, so when I made a joke about how everything in your body seems to hurt more, after you hit 40.wounded Baby Man suddenly spat out, “Well, it's clear you're no spring chicken. I bet menopause is right around the corner for you.”That, my friends, is called misogyny. He sought to insult me, but he made sure his insults were directed toward my womanhood, rather than my humanity.Off come the gloves. Sharp are the nails. Fire fills my mind.If only.
Oh, if only I could truly perform spells.It's interesting, isn't it, that Roald Dahl (one of my most favorite writers) invented witches who loathe children and turn them into mice.Why children? They're all perfectly harmless enough. Well, of course, he chose witches and children and mice, because his brilliant story was written to make children laugh at the things they fear most.But, we grown-up women know that the best story ever told about a witch was Circe from The Odyssey. Men acting like pigs being turned into pigs.
They eat her food, they sleep in her bed and they disrespect her island. They act like pigs, so she feeds them some magical food and summons their true essence.I do not say this to disrespect men. I am surrounded, generally, by righteous men, and I tend to adore them.But, to Baby Men. Men who can't handle a woman's boldness. With my eyes and my taloned fingers. I make you swine.When we got back into the car after this harried playdate, I said to my daughters, “When a man reduces you to your female form, then pokes fun of you, just remember, he is afraid of you.And you could do a lot worse than to summon your inner witch.”( Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Witches everywhere, unite!!).
I was a very sheltered child.Or was I a wuss? I was probably a wuss.For instance, when I was a little tot, Sammy Terry scared the shit out of me. I remember being frightened by commercials of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and the one time I inadvertently saw part of a Friday the 13th movie on TV?
Nightmares for weeks.But that all came later.But this book. Oh, this was traumatic shit.I was in preschool, probably 4 years old, when the teacher decided to read us The Witche I was a very sheltered child.Or was I a wuss? I was probably a wuss.For instance, when I was a little tot, Sammy Terry scared the shit out of me.
I remember being frightened by commercials of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and the one time I inadvertently saw part of a Friday the 13th movie on TV? Nightmares for weeks.But that all came later.But this book. Oh, this was traumatic shit.I was in preschool, probably 4 years old, when the teacher decided to read us The Witches. Every day we'd sit on the carpet and listen to a little bit more, and.
Well, witches! Witches were frickin' scary at four, it didn't matter how cartoony they looked on the cover.
I knew that real witches were scary looking and ugly. And.SPOILER ALERT. when that one kid got turned into a mouse, it scared me so bad I cried! I cried in front of the other kids, and they all thought I was a wuss!When I got home, I told my mom about crying in front of the class, and SHE WAS SOOOOO pissed. She called the teacher that night and expressed her displeasure with great verbosity and eloquence, probably traumatizing the teacher every bit as much as The Witches traumatized me.What happened the next day? We switched books. I can't remember the book that followed The Witches; it didn't scare me, whatever it was.
Nobody found out what happened to the little kid who got turned into a mouse. For me, he will forever be a mouse. But at least we little chillens didn't have to hear about any more witches.A happy ending? More of an ambiguous one.
Just a couple weeks later, my parents withdrew me from the school after I, in passing, told mom that the teacher gave her two favorite students ice cream bars during lunch, but never gave anyone else one.(I wasn't a tattle tale, I promise. I was just very talkative. And a wuss.). I've noticed for years and years that critics love to say that Roald Dahl is 'spinning in his grave' over some such filmic adaptation of his works. I'm a curious type person so I had to look up what the hell was in his grave, anyway. He was buried with pool cues, his typewriter and pencils (backup?). Guess he'd need to hustle his way past the pearly gates?
Don't dance on my grave. (Gosh, real critics are so harsh.) If he's spinning I guess there's plenty in there to make lots of racket.The movie was I've noticed for years and years that critics love to say that Roald Dahl is 'spinning in his grave' over some such filmic adaptation of his works. I'm a curious type person so I had to look up what the hell was in his grave, anyway. He was buried with pool cues, his typewriter and pencils (backup?).
Guess he'd need to hustle his way past the pearly gates? Don't dance on my grave.
(Gosh, real critics are so harsh.) If he's spinning I guess there's plenty in there to make lots of racket.The movie wasn't that bad. Okay, the American kid was a weanie and the special effects were cheesey. But Anjelica Huston was scary and oversexed. That was kinda awesome.I was a Dahl fanatic as a kid. We read most of them as school assignments, but not The Witches for some reason. Maybe 'cause they want to do bad things to children. (Hold up, Trunchbull of Matilda did nasty things to kids!
Ah, but she had administrative permission, which fooled yet more administrative permissors into permitting their administrative permissions for further kid terrorizing. Only the ones who read, mind, like Matilda.
Reading Matilda.) Anyway, it was funny and gruesome and nasty and I loved it. It still holds up to adult nasty senses of humor.Dance, dance, dance! The Witches is a surprising book. The story is deceptively simple but many great ideas are buried in between the lines that tell it, make it a rich read leading to many buried treasures that shine in the light of the new understanding they bring.It all start when a seven year old boy whose name we never learn (isn't it that clever?) loses his parents in an car accident, and goes to live with his grandmother in Norway. Grandma is a master storyteller, who tells the boy about witches w The Witches is a surprising book. The story is deceptively simple but many great ideas are buried in between the lines that tell it, make it a rich read leading to many buried treasures that shine in the light of the new understanding they bring.It all start when a seven year old boy whose name we never learn (isn't it that clever?) loses his parents in an car accident, and goes to live with his grandmother in Norway. Grandma is a master storyteller, who tells the boy about witches with claws instead of finger nails, bald heads, large nose holes, square feet, and blue spit.
She also tells him that this aren't stories to scare him but to warn him, because witches are real and they loathe children.When Grandma gets sick, to improve her health, the two of them travel to a hotel on the English coast. Random mishaps (or is it destiny mixed with fate?) put the boy in a locked room with two hundred witches.
He hides, hoping the witches won't find him by his smell, and overhears the witches’ wicked plan to turn children into mice by putting Delayed Action Mouse-Maker in chocolate bars in candy shops all around England.The boy's fear betrays him. The witches find him and turn him into a mouse but he manages to escape their clutches. On his escape, he finds Bruno, the very first boy turned to mouse by the wicked potion, and they both go on a quest to find the boy’s grandmother. What is a witch? After my last book, all about the Salem Witch Trials, I have a pretty good idea about what the Puritans thought. However, it would serve me well to allow Roald Dahl to present an answer to that for his childhood readers.
According to Dahl, a witch has claw-like fingers (always gloved), remains bald (but wears a wig), and has squared feet (no toes and a horror when shopping for shoes!). But, the most important piece of knowledge about witches is that they DESPISE children more th What is a witch?
After my last book, all about the Salem Witch Trials, I have a pretty good idea about what the Puritans thought. However, it would serve me well to allow Roald Dahl to present an answer to that for his childhood readers. According to Dahl, a witch has claw-like fingers (always gloved), remains bald (but wears a wig), and has squared feet (no toes and a horror when shopping for shoes!). But, the most important piece of knowledge about witches is that they DESPISE children more than anything. From there, in a sort of faux memoir about his youth, Dahl recounts losing his parents in an automobile crash and living with a Norwegian grandmother.
She, of course, knows much more about witches and counsels him about them, since Norway has had witches for centuries. While on holiday, young Dahl and his grandmother are in a hotel and stumble across a gathering of all English witches, who are meeting under the guise of a fairly popular and heart-warming organisation. What happens next will test young Dahl's ability to remember all the traits and actions witches undertake, as well as a conspiracy that the Grand High Witch of the World has for all the children. A delightful book to pique the curiosity of the young reader without any trials, tortures, or tribulations. Salem or the quaint English seaside, witches are all over and Dahl finally helps us identify them. Do YOU know a witch in your daily life?Dahl's magical way of presenting things to children is highly entertaining and allows me, a full-fledged adult reader, to tackle an enjoyable and short piece. Intentionally bordering on the silly, Dahl offers his readers some background before setting sail on a reading voyage that will both educate and entertain.
His personalising the story pulls the reader in a little more and, even faced with adversity, Dahl does not push things to the edge of despair. I have always liked Dahl stories in my youth and see now just how uplifting I feel. I hope that in a few years, when my son is ready for something a little more dense, we might explore the world of witches and all they have to offer.Kudos, Mr. Dahl for another winner.
Children have a goldmine of reading when they discover all that you had in your mind and put to paper.Like/hate the review? An ever-growing collection of others appears at. The witches of England have a plan to do away with ALL English children. This little Norwegian orphan boy and his grandmamma come up with a plan to do away with all English witches instead.
When they've accomplished that task, the little boy is noticeably altered in size and appearance. He doesn't mind, though. He sets off cheerfully with his grandmamma on a grand tour to rid the entire WORLD of those evil witchy creatures.I've always known there were real witches in the world, because Mrs. Nail, my f The witches of England have a plan to do away with ALL English children. This little Norwegian orphan boy and his grandmamma come up with a plan to do away with all English witches instead. When they've accomplished that task, the little boy is noticeably altered in size and appearance.
He doesn't mind, though. He sets off cheerfully with his grandmamma on a grand tour to rid the entire WORLD of those evil witchy creatures.I've always known there were real witches in the world, because Mrs. Nail, my first grade teacher, was the Queen Witch of the Universe.
If only I'd had this book, I could have convinced everyone else I was right about her.If you suspect that someone you know could be a witch, check for the following:1)They always wear gloves to hide the curvy cat claws they have instead of fingernails.2)Real witches are always bald as a boiled egg, but they hide it with first-class wigs. The wigs make their bare scalps itch, so watch for head-scratchers.3)Witches have bigger nose-holes than ordinary folks, the better to sniff out little children with.4)The pupils of a witch's eyes will keep changing color as you look into them. They'll switch from fire to ice and send a shiver up your spine.5)Witches never have toes. Their feet have square ends.6)Their spit is blue, like ink.Once you've established that you have a bona fide witch on your hands, it's time to slip some Formula 86 into her food and watch the transformation. Lucky for you, the secret recipe for Formula 86 is right here in this book, courtesy of your friend Roald Dahl.Happy witch hunting! I would love to know why I am the only person on the planet who did not like this book. I tried to find some bad reviews on GoodReads, but the only one and two star reviews said things like 'Bad no like mousey!
Dlksk djglsk diewqls!' I'm assuming they were in a foreign language and not written by a kid who could not type, but I was too lazy to click on the profiles. Maybe I should learn the language and go live there, where we can all unite in our hatred of this book.It seems to me t I would love to know why I am the only person on the planet who did not like this book. I tried to find some bad reviews on GoodReads, but the only one and two star reviews said things like 'Bad no like mousey! Dlksk djglsk diewqls!'
I'm assuming they were in a foreign language and not written by a kid who could not type, but I was too lazy to click on the profiles. Maybe I should learn the language and go live there, where we can all unite in our hatred of this book.It seems to me that 90% of the reviews said things like 'Scared the crap out of me as a kid, but I like it now.' Except.this is supposed to be for kids? So why give it five stars when children can't read it without being frightened?As an adult I see that this book is about the power of imagination and the triumph of good over evil. As a teacher and a mother, I think it's the author's perverse attempt to terrify little kids. It's really funny as a grown-up to think about how you hated certain teachers and thought of them as witches; this book brings childhood nostalgia back for this reason. As a kid, though, you end up terrified that you'll see a violet glow in your teacher's eyes if he or she gets short or loses patience with you.
I do enough scaring of children just by getting my job done; I don't need a book around that's going to convince kids that I am about to eat them too. Quick, grab the pogo stick!!I’m shocked that I’m all gaga over a kid’s book again, but damn, I LOVED this book. Every second of it! I read it aloud to a 10-year-old, and she was as mesmerized and terrified as I was. The witches in these pages are not good witches; they are pure evil. And oh what they do to children!
Dahl is my new hero and I plan to read everything he has written. My daughter was obsessed with his books when she was young; now her decrepit mom is too!! Full review to follow. Quick, grab the pogo stick!!I’m shocked that I’m all gaga over a kid’s book again, but damn, I LOVED this book. Every second of it!
I read it aloud to a 10-year-old, and she was as mesmerized and terrified as I was. The witches in these pages are not good witches; they are pure evil.
And oh what they do to children! Dahl is my new hero and I plan to read everything he has written. My daughter was obsessed with his books when she was young; now her decrepit mom is too!! Full review to follow. Readers in the Roald Dahl know come to his books with an understanding that PG-13 level violence and mayhem are a part of his charms.
This fast moving tale doesn't let fans down; all of the recognizable Dahlian tropes are on display and we are rooting for the child all the way to the end.I had the extra bonus of having this read to me by my daughter. She's at the stage now where she tries on different accents for each character; her English accent was adorable. So, five stars for the boo Readers in the Roald Dahl know come to his books with an understanding that PG-13 level violence and mayhem are a part of his charms. This fast moving tale doesn't let fans down; all of the recognizable Dahlian tropes are on display and we are rooting for the child all the way to the end.I had the extra bonus of having this read to me by my daughter.
She's at the stage now where she tries on different accents for each character; her English accent was adorable. So, five stars for the book, five stars for Bel the bookreader. The trouble with this movie, is that we are supposed to cheer for the wrong side. The premise, for those who haven’t read or seen it, is that the witches have a practically foolproof plan to turn all the children of the UK into mice.I mean, what’s not to like?You may say I shouldn’t have been watching this movie with a cat. It’s true, the cat and I have never been more on the same wave length.
As I sat there biting my nails and screaming at those witches ‘not the soup, please don’t eat the creThe trouble with this movie, is that we are supposed to cheer for the wrong side. The premise, for those who haven’t read or seen it, is that the witches have a practically foolproof plan to turn all the children of the UK into mice.I mean, what’s not to like?You may say I shouldn’t have been watching this movie with a cat.
It’s true, the cat and I have never been more on the same wave length. As I sat there biting my nails and screaming at those witches ‘not the soup, please don’t eat the cress soup’ (because a boy mouse had put the spell into it, so that the witches were to get a taste of their own medicine, so to speak), the cat was rigid with anger, hair, whiskers, tail, you name it, it was standing on end. This cat will never speak to Roald Dahl again. How dare he dangle such a prize in front of him, the most delightfully plump, tender young mice, and then take it away like that?Signed NGE. Witches are out there. You're lucky you're reading this now. It means that a witch never got you as a child or you escaped from their clutches.Witches are demons and have the following features: they wear wigs, they have squared-off feet with no toes and they smell faintly like old urinal.
They have an insatiable need to kill, maim and turn children into animals. They can't stand children because to them they smell like dog poo.And they love meetings. And they love forming a club. Witches are out there. You're lucky you're reading this now.
It means that a witch never got you as a child or you escaped from their clutches.Witches are demons and have the following features: they wear wigs, they have squared-off feet with no toes and they smell faintly like old urinal. They have an insatiable need to kill, maim and turn children into animals. They can't stand children because to them they smell like dog poo.And they love meetings. And they love forming a club.I swear I have worked with one or two witches in the past.Everyone knows this story, especially since the movies came out in the 90s. The movie came out just that bit late for me, however I did watch it later and I feel that it clouds my enjoyment of the story. With 'The Witches' I'm a text purist. It's the same with 'Matilda', the movie was too late and nowhere as good as the text.So, the story is that the main character's parents are killed in a crash and he goes to live with his grandmother who is Norwegian and knows a bit about witches.
They go on a holiday and they meet up with the annual english meeting of witches.ORAn old woman who is hell bent on revenge from childhood trauma baits a group of witches with her grandson so she can kill them all!! Yippee Kay Yay Mother Witches.You be the judge.P.S. That story about the girl in the painting is still one of the most haunting stories I have ever read. Roald Dahl was a British novelist, short story writer and screenwriter of Norwegian descent, who rose to prominence in the 1940's with works for both children and adults, and became one of the world's bestselling authors.Dahl's first published work, inspired by a meeting with C. Forester, was Shot Down Over Libya. Today the story is published as A Piece of Cake.
The story, about his wartime ad Roald Dahl was a British novelist, short story writer and screenwriter of Norwegian descent, who rose to prominence in the 1940's with works for both children and adults, and became one of the world's bestselling authors.Dahl's first published work, inspired by a meeting with C. Forester, was Shot Down Over Libya. Today the story is published as A Piece of Cake. The story, about his wartime adventures, was bought by the Saturday Evening Post for $900, and propelled him into a career as a writer. Its title was inspired by a highly inaccurate and sensationalized article about the crash that blinded him, which claimed he had been shot down instead of simply having to land because of low fuel.His first children's book was The Gremlins, about mischievous little creatures that were part of RAF folklore. The book was commissioned by Walt Disney for a film that was never made, and published in 1943. Dahl went on to create some of the best-loved children's stories of the 20th century, such as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda and James and the Giant Peach.He also had a successful parallel career as the writer of macabre adult short stories, usually with a dark sense of humour and a surprise ending.
Many were originally written for American magazines such as Ladies Home Journal, Harper's, Playboy and The New Yorker, then subsequently collected by Dahl into anthologies, gaining world-wide acclaim. Dahl wrote more than 60 short stories and they have appeared in numerous collections, some only being published in book form after his death. His stories also brought him three Edgar Awards: in 1954, for the collection Someone Like You; in 1959, for the story 'The Landlady'; and in 1980, for the episode of Tales of the Unexpected based on 'Skin'.